Open Letter to Euro Moms...And Some Non-Euro Moms

Dear Braless Wonders....You Know Who You Are,

And here we are again--the underwear conversation. It's not even summer time yet and the "ladies" are swingin' free already. I realize that after a cold winter the "girls" were excited to go out without 65 layers covering them up during yesterday's warm spell of 50 degrees, but one additional layer...say, a bra...would be helpful. Think of the children. And the other moms. Music class is NOT a place to debut your jubblies for the spring season. It is not spring yet, trust me. Or trust your hooters....they say it all. Now, some of you can certainly pull this off. I'm not sure how, but maybe your kids are adopted or you have an excellent plastic surgeon. Or maybe it's some magic European spell that allows your knockers to stay where God originally planted them. Yes, I envy you for that but that's beside the point. Even if my girls were back in their original region of origin I would still "dress them up". It's just nice manners.

I'm not sure what it is about you Germans that give you the idea that it's perfectly okay to waltz (and jump and run and skip and twirl) without your knockwursts in their proper casings, but it's just not okay. The music room is small. Someone is liable to get injured. And to the Italian mom....BAD DECISION. You were not blessed with the German genes girlfriend. Tie those suckers down, would ya?

I love you European moms because you're so carefree and beautiful and skinny and, well, you have fun accents. I love that your JCREW quality offspring can speak fluently in many languages. But you wouldn't let them out without diapers (I hope). So lets all work on some kind of multi-national agreement that would allow for all of us to be comfortable around you. Yes, it makes me a little uncomfortable when I'm the only mom around who is not in on your very exciting and animated German conversation, probably talking about how fantastic it feels to be out without a bra on and how uptight the poor American mothers are in their bra-wearing stupors. I can get past that. I'm not bilingual. So sue me. I just can't get past the breastesses. As Heidi Klum would say, "auf wiedersehen" to the braless look. (I am aware that Heidi Klum also says, "In fashion, one day you're in. The next day, you're OUT" but I'm pretty sure she's not talking about boobs.

Summer will be here....one day....eventually.....I hope and it will be time for all of us to get out our summer clothes. Lets not have a repeat of last summer's "case of the missing underpants" episode (see previous blog) and lets go for the gold and get all our girlie parts secured. It's a pact!

Double Kiss, Double Hugs, Double D's!

L.