Open Letter to Euro Mom at the Park

Dear Uber Hot Euro Mom at the Park,

Props to you for maintaining a size 2 bod while your kids clearly thrive on a diet of caffeine & sugar. Speaking of goodies, lets talk about yours. Holy crotch-shot! While I adore your chic black jersey knit mini dress (although even you know you're sweating from that scarf around your neck!), it is probably not the most appropriate attire for swinging, sliding and *gasp* doing pullups or any activity where your arms extend past your shoulders. Seriously! Now, in Sweden (or wherever you are from), this may be totally tres chic, however here in America, unless you are a drunken Hollywood starlet out for a night of wild debauchery and in desperate need of a career boost, underpants are the traditionally accepted garment designed for wear under dresses and general daily use. Sure I'm a little jealous that I don't look all smokin' hot when I take my kid to the park (although I am hot...I mean, it's summer time and it's humid!), but I have my morals. So lets put some shorts (or make good use of that scarf around your neck!) like all the other parents and save whatever you've got going on down there (or lack thereof) for the papparazzi during your next night on the town with who I can only assume is your Ken-doll husband.

Double kiss, double hugs,
L.