Dear Rastafarian Gucci Bag Salesman,
I am annoyed that you tried to sell me a knockoff Gucci bag in the diaper aisle of Target. Last time I checked, you need to be wearing a red polo & ironed khakis to be selling things at Target. All I wanted to do was hop in, grab some size 4's, and make my way to join the 500 people in line at the one open checkout lane in the entire store. But instead I had to listen to you as you dug around in your garbage bag full of purses whispering something that sounded like "Ayladeeeee, wannapursaforapreddyladeeeee?" Also, when I tried to run away from you, my finger one digit away from calling 911 on my cell, it did not help matters to tell me to "reeeeelaaaaxxxxxxx". Just because this is probably the nastiest, most disorganized Target with a sales plan clearly modeled after a third world open air market, (ie I would not have been surprised to see a "Goats & Other Livestock" aisle), it is not appropriate to bring your illegal operations in here, especially to the kiddie aisles. That is why we have Canal Street, okay? Now, had you had a garbage bag full of Huggies priced under $30 per box, perhaps we could have had a conversation.
Double Hugs, Double Kiss, Double Sanitizer,
L.
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You're hysterical! Love it... And on a sidenote, sorry to hear you have such a crummy Target! But it has to be better than our Walmart in Barstow...I've literally seen a prostitute with her pimp inside the store. Yes, I know...they need to shop too...just not at the same stores as me! Yea, I now drive an hour and 15 minutes to get to the Target instead of the "only" 45 minute drive to the ghetto-fabulous Walmart.
ReplyDeleteI love your writing...I am more sure than ever that I love living where I do...Target's $1.oo section gets a lot of action from this Nonnie of three.. Don't know what I would do without it!!!
ReplyDeleteKeep writing...one day it will be a movie!!